The last couple of months have been some of the darkest of my life. I kept telling my self that if I could just work a little bit longer, push a little bit harder - Somehow it would start to get easier.
And then and only then would I start to have the time I needed for the rest of my life. More time to play with my son, to spend time with my partner, to visit my family on the other side of the world, to spend in my garden, to see my friends. .
But the day that my son asked me why I was always working and why I never had time to play with him. I stopped dead in my tracks. I realised that I had been running in the wrong direction.
What followed was a dark few weeks of introspection where I examined everything in my life piece by piece. From my work, to my relationships and everything in between. And I was alarmed to see that some of the demons from my past had managed to find a way back into my present.
The result? I have since made the decision to return to full-time work and to shut down the sub-contracting side of my business. This will allow me to get back to what I love - designing and creating. Forcing myself to invite other people into the process and most important of all - learning my own limits. .
My hope is that by doing this I will be able to navigate my way back to the pure simplistic joy of making. Which somehow got forgotten in the hot sticky mess of it.
I am a work-aholic. A perfectionist. I used to think these were good qualities but now I realise they hold me prisoner to my fear. So my new goal is once a week, I will post a project, in all of it's un-finished, un-refined, non-perfect glory. .
First up are these cut little glove and hat boxes I made for the family. Baltic Birch and mono-coat oil. For more info DM me. .
#cnc #ply #box